Finding rusty old junk is fun! Nevertheless, I have found that no matter how much "stuff" I find and collect, only God can fully satisfy my heart. Matthew 6:19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Emotional Outpouring and Prayers/Day of Silence

I never could have imagined when I started my blog that something like this would happen. That there would be a day and time that this fun place and space where I escape, this virtual reality that is one of my comforts, could provide no solace or escape from the "real world." Every blog post I have made has been fun and stress relieving. But  no amount of blogging about my junk adventures or decorating accomplishments, or any amount of pinning inspirational ideas can provide  an escape at all.

Looking at Christmas decorations makes me feel guilty. I just want to be with my children but even that seems to upset me, as the awful reality of feeling insecure and unsafe about their future and security becomes almost too scary to face. Christmas will never be the same for those people, but I honestly don't think it will ever be the same for those of us on the outside who feel so helpless because there is nothing we can really ever say or do to REVERSE this nightmare. Our prayers are  with these people but also we should lift each other up, the strangers, the readers, the citizens who are on the outside looking in. We are all affected and we have all had our Christmas spirits darkened and our nerves frazzled.

"GOD be with us all, and please we ask you openly and humbly to be in our presence providing divine intervention forprotection from the dark forces of this world. We ask in faith that you  protect our children and loved ones every second of every day. Please spare us from ever experiencing what those parents and families are going through at this very second that I type this post. Please provide them the COMFORTER you promised. Send the Holy Spirit that comforts them in a way they cannot explain, to ease their sorrows and help them transition into this new and lonely, sorrowful phase of life that you have allowed to come upon them. Provide the strength they need to face these changes and HELP THEM FIND SOME SORT OF PURPOSE IN THEIR SORROWS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I debated blogging about this at all but how can just post pictures of all my trinkets and treasures as if that is the most important thing in life? How can I talk about Christmas as if its the most wonderful time of the year, because right now, its really not.  A lot of what was most important to me Thursday evening has taken a back seat. My priorities are back in order but I am too shaken up to even be able to enjoy my family or think about celebrations at all.
I have been given a deep sense of empathy and I have had lifelong problems with internalizing the pain and suffering of others. This event has ripped my spirit, challenged my faith, and affected my health. I am experiencing a flare up of Lupus and Fibromyalgia pain as I have cried so hard and lost a lot of sleep over this. But nothing I face can compare to the pain of those families who are living in this nightmare and I pray that any strength I have be given to the victim's families and friends, and indeed the entire community. So many lives affected.

"Lord we need PEACE ON EARTH AND GOODWILL TOWARD MEN this Christmas. We need to understand that Christmas message and we just can't feel that peace or believe it is possible unless you intervene in a supernatural way and give us that peace." Amen.

I am participating in the blogger's day of silence tomorrow and I will be putting my creative energies into prayers.


1 comment:

  1. Amber, We are all feeling the lost of those brave teachers and beautiful children. I think a way to honor those children is to hold our own children a little closer and love them even more…… Laura


Comments from lovely people: